July was the month of surgeries! Although I have been inactive for two weeks, this past week has been the worst of all! I have been bed ridden for almost the entire week, struggling to even stand and walk to the toilet due to the excruciating pain I experience when putting pressure on my feet. This week has easily been the most difficult and challenging week of my life. Not only was it a battle physically, but a mental challenge also. I went through phases of feeling sorry for myself and unable to stop crying, to feelings of frustration from lack of independence and just a seriously negative weak attitude to persevere with tasks such as standing- even to the point where I stopped drinking water completely so as I didn’t need to get up for the toilet as often! I didn’t take well to the strong medication which made me even worse- tired, drowsy,nauseous, lack of appetite, headaches and feelings of depression. Luckily I have the most unreal support of my boyfriend and parents, especially my Mumma who is playing nurse.
By Wednesday/ Thursday something needed to change- my attitude! I set myself three simple challenges that I promised myself that I would commit to in order to make myself feel better and therefore be better company for the people who were coming to visit and look after me.
MY THREE PERSONAL CHALLENGES:
1) Stop feeling sorry for myself.
– Having a negative attitude is not going to make me feel better, it won’t cure the pain and it certainly won’t fix my feet any faster. I mean seriously Simone, there are billions of other people in the world who have endured far worse than me! Granted, I am going to feel miserable as this is the hardest thing I personally have had to do- but that does not give me an excuse to whinge about it. Once I made this pledge to myself, I couldn’t stop thinking about Turia Pitt and all the surgeries she had to undergo and the excruciating pain she would have suffered. Two feet operations were not even in the same world of pain as she would have experienced having burnt more than 90% of her body. More recently I have also been inspired by Tessa James who featured on Sunday Night last night and shared her story of battling cancer. Her story made me really put this into perspective. Yes- I can’t walk. Yes- I’m in pain. But it is not life threatening, it is short term and day-by-day it will get easier!
2) Smile- even when I want to cry.
Standing up to go to the toilet felt like the hardest thing in the world and brought tears to my eyes each and every time. In fact, I literally cried for three days straight in anxiety knowing thatI would eventually have to stand up! So I made the promise to smile when attempting to stand or walk. At times I would feel the tears running down my cheeks but rather than bursting out and crying, I would smile which gave me a feeling of pride that I had reached the bathroom and back to bed again, without crying. Silly- but very effective in changing my thoughts.
3) Practise positive self talk.
This was the most important of all, practising self talk which is easier said than done when feeling down and out. I would (in my mind) tell myself “I can do it”, “It isn’t that bad”, “You are getting better at this” etc. What a change that made. As soon as I changed my attitude and thoughts, it was like everything became easier. I could deal with situations and make decisions with more clarity and just felt better overall!
Unfortunately, I will be in my velcro sandals for another 6-8 weeks and am unable to engage in exercise until then. Being inactive for such a long period of time, I have needed to adjust my eating habits and have had to tighten up my choices so as to maintain my weight.
Pre-op I weighed in at 52.8kgs so am hoping to stick as close to this as possible. I haven’t changed necessarily what I am eating, just the amount. I don’t need as much food to fuel my body as I am not training, in fact I’m hardly moving!
I don’t think I’ve put on weight yet, but I have certainly lost muscle and definition.
In the coming weeks I will be posting more of my food diaries, with information about what aI am eating along with the portions and nutritional information. I will also be posting the odd progress pic to keep me motivated and accountable!
Thanks to everyone who has emailed or messaged me with kind words of support and encouragement. You have no idea how much you inspire me!
Just be prepared for an even bigger and better version of Simone 2.0:
coming end of September 2015 🙂